Have You Considered that Being a Family Caregiver Can Cause Strain on the Relationship? Learn to Listen
One Family Caregiver’s Experience in Ada, MI – Respecting the Patient’s Wishes
You decided that you should be your father’s caregiver because he wasn’t going to accept help from a complete stranger and after his heart attack, then when he also broke his arm, I knew he was going to need a lot of help at home, at least for a period of time.
You generally had a relatively good relationship with your father through the years, and you figured that would come in handy when you began providing home care for him. What you learned, though, was that this process was going to take a toll on your relationship with him.
During the first week after he was discharged from the hospital, things seemed okay. He was extremely weak and fatigued and you spent a lot of time with him. You brought him breakfast in bed, helped him get up and move around, go to the bathroom, and even take a shower. You installed a shower seat for him and even though he was embarrassed to have you assist him with these ‘personal’ issues, he didn’t refuse the help outright. Maybe he was just too weak to fight.
By the second week both you and he were starting to get comfortable with the situation, to the point where you argued more frequently. He might have wanted to remain in bed for a while longer but you admonished him to get up and do the exercises that the doctor had prescribed for him.
He might have wanted to have a nice steak dinner and you told him that was absolutely out of the question because he needed to avoid red meat. You got frustrated, he got angry and during the next few weeks’ things just got worse, and your relationship has suffered as a result.
Now you wish you never agreed to be his caregiver. But is there anything you can do about it?
Yes. First, you can talk to him about hiring a professional caregiver to come and work with him. Tell him that you don’t want your relationship to be more strained than it is.
Second, you can learn to listen more to what he wants. You may know what’s best or what the doctor told him to do, but he has earned the right to do what he wants, including what he can eat. It’s tough to help a loved one who doesn’t seem to do the right things for his or her health, but you still need to respect their wishes in the end.
If you or someone you know needs help with caregivers in Ada, MI, contact the caregivers at Gauthier Family Home Care. We provide quality and affordable home care for many disabled and elderly loved ones in our community. Call us at (616) 258-2300 for more information.
- What Your Senior Needs When Going to the Hospital - April 17, 2024
- 5 Things to Calm Your Senior Parent with Alzheimer’s - April 10, 2024
- Tips and Tricks for Helping Seniors With Spring Cleaning - April 3, 2024